Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving....

Today's Post:  Tuesday, 11-20-2012

One year and earlier in the month than this, an email newsletter I get & already got then suggested simply making a list of things I was Thankful for as part of my Thanksgiving celebration for that year.

I took a few minutes and wrote down what came to mind.

Then a couple of days later, I read that list and thought of another set of things that included about as many as the first one!

Wow! That wound up being a big list.

Just like most people, I was all too aware of important things I didn't have or didn't have yet with no expectation that would soon change.

So when I saw the resulting very large list, I was pleasantly surprised to say the least.

Try making a list this year yourself.  Use the balance of the holiday weekend if you are not able to do it before Thanksgiving.

Here’s where it gets interesting.:

There are all kinds of reasons to do this that have great power to improve your quality of life, improve your relationships, and even improve your health!

So, take a moment occasionally to do this at times all year long.

Here are three of them.

1.  Every day you win some and lose some.  From leaving your home for work on days everything goes right to a horrible commute home, and good and bad events or results you got in between, almost every day is a mixed review if you include everything.

But your reality is what you think about and focus on much more than you may realize. 

So, if you notice good things and successful efforts as they happen and recall them later, your quality of life and your mental health will be better.  The bad things did happen.  But if you notice and remember the good ones, your life is actually better just the same!

Research has actually been done and tested this to be a fact. 

In fact, though it’s challenging to take five minutes each day to write a list for that day & take notes during the day when things to put on it come up, they found that many people who were mildly depressed often felt no depression and were happy after doing this for just one month.

What went well for you today you are thankful for?

2.  Notice what people are good at doing.  Be thankful for it.  Look for these things and value the people who have them.

If you are in business and you can find people with great strengths you can put to work and help make their weaknesses safe or compensated for, YOU will be successful. 

Peter Drucker discovered that is a key way to be an unusually effective business leader. 

Even people you know just a bit will often turn out to be good at some things.  If you notice and think well of them because of it, you’ll find people easier to like and work with AND your life will work much, much better than if you don’t.

Self help writer David Schwartz put it this way:  “Look for reasons to like people. It ALWAYS pays” (to do that.)

Though I don’t remember where I read it, I also once read that people in successful marriages almost invariably know several strengths their husband or wife has and value them.

I know from personal experience this is essential at work too.  Because I value the people around me for their real strengths I find I understand them better, find it easier to forgive them when they fall short, and can often work with other people most people find difficult or worse.

And, in work and personal relationships, people are also what they do not just what they can do. 

So if when someone does something you like or that benefits you, if you give them a sincere but short thanks for what they did at least some of the time, that also helps!

To do that though, you have to do 3 things: you have to realize you liked what they did, you have to allow yourself to feel glad they did it, and you have to tell them that you liked what they did – and only that.

If you say anything before or after that you wish it was more often etc that ruins it so bad, you would have been better to say nothing.

“I liked it when you did that, it meant a lot to me, Thanks!”

“Thanks for doing that.”

Just like everyone else you may be too busy to do this every time.  And, people begin to wonder about you having extra motivations if you do it every single time or try too hard.

But if you do it well occasionally & right after they did it, it can really help.

3.  Martin Seligman, PhD, found that some people are unusually resilient and mentally healthy.

He found that what makes the difference is they think of good things as permanent and helpful in many ways and feel anchored by them.  This gives them a mental glow and an optimistic style.  (Sometimes they believe this more than the facts indicate.  So they have to be prudent too to stay safe.) 

And, they think of bad things as limited, temporary, events with specific causes, that can be changed and which only have the limited effects they actually had and are limited to that.

In doing that, they are very precise, accurate, analytic, and scientific in their approach.

Does this make a big difference?  It makes a HUGE difference! 

People who do these two things have more friends and better health and over a lifetime make more money than people who don’t.

What things in your life are you thankful for that are permanent or likely to be around for a long time?

At Thanksgiving, this set of things to remember and be Thankful for can serve you all year round!

What are yours?